Writing - Part 1 - B2 First (FCE) - Practice, Write & Improve

Nowadays, modern lifestyles are being widely debated (formal expressions/passive) due to (prepositional phrase) the fashion and extravagant famous lives that we are watching  are displayed (avoid personal language) every day on social media and TV programs.

The introduction appropriately informs the reader about the essence of the essay

• avoid personal language (We, Our), use third person: he or she, they, one’s,  passive forms and indirect language

Firstly, (transitional words) we are bombing people inundate themselves (use formal/academic language) with new recipes, products and diets to be closer with to this new type of life affecting our their bodies because we they (avoid personal language) are copying these routines without a mecial o  doctor or nutritionist's opinion. (compound sentences) Moreover, (linking words) the price of the food is surprisingly expensive and in many cases not affordable for the man in the street.  too exotic for our wallets. (use formal/academic language)

Remember that essay is an academic paper and must be written in a formal style;  Evaluative language

Some stylistic errors and linguistic deficiencies appear - awkward use of some expressions or incorrect sentence construction.

Secondly, (transitional words) many people have started training without a professional trainer and supervision (topic-relevant vocabulary) having serious problems with injuries. Besides, (linking words) this is also a commonly common problem because we are using many apps to be fit but alone (poor stylistic & personal language) people often use sports apps without basic knowledge and this which is affecting us them to visit the doctor and spend the money in the recovery process.

In my opinion, (transitional words) another dangerous problem is the truth aim to be modern, (??? unclear) in our society, we people (avoid personal language) are consuming a lot of supplements to be youthful avoiding the future consequences.  (appropriate language and register)

Finally, (transitional words) modern lifestyles can seriously endanger our one's health if we he or she (avoid personal language) can't controllate control it with horrible damages unless we have the strengh strength to approach it reasonably. be balanced. (awkward use of some expressions)

Content: 5/5
have you answered the question?

All content is relevant to the task. Target reader is informed.

• food- commented
• physical activity- commented

You should explain which point is more important, giving reasons in support of your answer- commented

Communicative Achievement:3/5
have you completed the task in the right sort of language?

The language register is formal and evaluative most of the time (some irrelevancies) - Evaluative language

• avoid personal language (We, Our), use third person: he or she, they, one’s,  passive forms and indirect language Formal & Informal Style (video)

Some stylistic errors and linguistic deficiencies appear often - awkward use of some expressions or incorrect sentence construction.  The overall readability and style of some sentences could be improved

The organisation: 5/5
have you structured your writing properly?

The text is clearly organised into paragraphs, which each deal with one idea.

The candidate demonstrated clear and coherent organization of ideas, utilizing the most appropriate and effective structure for the given task.

Linking words are consistently and appropriately used, the relationship between paragraphs or sections of a text is clear

Language: 3-4/5
have you used a good range of grammar and vocabulary?

Errors, are notable and slightly impede communication.

Vocabulary is used appropriately to the topic; common phrases relevant to the specific task are used

Use  other grammar structures appropriate to the written text 

• conjuntions (neither.. nor, both...and)
• inversion (not only/no sooner/seldom)
• inverted conditional/formal (Were we to.., Should it rain.. But for ...)
• repeated comparatives (more and more, better and better)
• relative pronouns ( In Which, Of Which, At Which, To Which.)

 Score: 16/20 Grade: B2 (good)